For those of us who were given up by our parent/s, the one thought that plages us most throughout life is why weren't we wanted. Whether we grew up knowing we were given up or it's something recently discovered, it can be quite devastating, instilling a feeling of being unworthy and unloved. And that can hurt for a long time. It can also have a direct effect on our social skills as we grow older. Many of us have even wanted to find our birth parents at one point in time, force them to look into our eyes and explain how they could give us up. Maybe some of us still do.

There are many reasons why parents give up their children. Some mothers die in childbirth, leaving the father devastated and unable to cope. Facing life as a single mother is difficult enough, but facing life as a single father can be much more difficult indeed. Even in the Bible it is set up that children are to be raised by the mother figure – mostly because women (usually) are better able to nurture emotionally than men are and for children this is very important. But there are other reasons as well. Some women (especially those not married) are too young or too afraid and feel that they have no choice as they have no means of support. And some women just weren't meant to be mothers period. The truth is we may never find out who our parents are and why it was that they chose to give us up. Another truth is that we may not have to – after today.

Here is something you may have been missing out on all your life – so please pay close attention. Just because you weren't raised by your natural parents doesn't mean they didn't love you. Even if they abandoned you in some alley or street corner, (some babies have even been left in garbage bins) the fact that you weren't destroyed in the womb or directly after birth is proof that your mother cared enough not to harm you and obviously wanted you to live. If you were thought unworthy and not cared for at all, you would not be here today because many babies are destroyed before or directly after birth. Even if conceived by rape – you are alive today because you were considered worthy of life, regardless. Besides that, a mother is not someone who gives birth. Any fool can do that. A mother is someone who raises and nurtures and teaches another human being to learn and to grow and to do on their own.

And here's something else. Some people don't have a close relationship with God because they are either angry at Him for what happened to them or feel that because they weren't conceived in "love" they aren't worthy of Him. If this is you, you need to know that you're wrong on both accounts. Jeremiah 1:5 God says "Before I placed you into the womb, I knew you." That means no matter how you were conceived, it was God's will for you to be. The Bible tells us that even Jesus, not to mention countless other men of God, were sought after by the devil from birth, yet went on to accomplish amazing things for God. God cared about every last one of them, not just Jesus, and He cares about you, too. Otherwise, you would not be here. It doesn't matter that your mother didn't keep you. God wanted you.

So if you're angry at God because your birth mother/father didn't keep you, keep in mind that we are all created with a free will. God can't interfere with what people will do, but He can intervene where there is an opening and make some changes. Innstead of being angry with God, thank Him that you were spared and saved to make your own life count for something. You may be full of deep scares today but you are alive and have a true chance at real happiness and peace. Don't let the enemy of your mind and soul tell you that you're not wanted. Prove him wrong by changing your thought life and thereby changing your attitude. Getting involved with others, especially children who have been abandoned or given up for adoption, and sharing your love with them by teaching them the truth as you have just learned it, will actually begin to bind up those old scars and bring real healing into your life – and theirs. If God thinks you're worthy, isn't it time you start thinking the same about yourself?

God bless you.
Mary Andrus
March, 2007